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My husband did his residency in family medicine before work hour restrictions and pulled hour work weeks just like the surgeons. Life will chuck all sorts of bouncers at you. Medical school and residency is really intense, and I think it's pretty common for doctors to get married a little later in life than the average couple. I am a very independent person socially so I often do not think to call people just because I am fine doing things myself. That desire that they be someone other than who they were when they married you is toxic to a relationship. What my boyfriend and I used to do when we were long distance is write really, crazy long emails to each other almost as long as my blog posts. First and most importantly, I see major trust issues in your future if you both think the other is brainwashed. I understand in some measure of the pressure on the provider, but this profession was their choice.
That isn't fair on you, and again will create stress and a stress point in the relationship. And your future kids will be taught that you are the reason they don't have an "eternal" family. But my choice seems to be build a life so I am not lonely all the time or stay at home waiting for him to have time for me. I didn't even believe. Hi, I'm from South Africa. I'm on the same page as you. I have learned this painfully with my child growing up in the LDS community. I don't think I could let that happen.