After the sex, he talked a whole bunch about how much he missed his ex and how great she was. Back when I was young and very horny, I liked big guys. Big as in very tall and very bulky strong. I knew a really shy one, a logger, who was incredibly cute and almost tongue-tied around me. I was patient and finally was able to seduce him. He got me all riled up and moaning, and I begged him to just stick it in. He finished or I hope he did , pulled out, and left. I did see him as he zipped up, he had the equipment of a small boy.
The city’s least visually impressive pageant is back with some more truly tiny tiddlers
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As promised, the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn pageant made its return to the borough this weekend, with five new penises and the bodies attached to them vying for the coveted title. For a few stifling hours, Bushwick's Kings County Bar transformed into one giant bachelorette party—assuming that party was held on the 4 train during rush hour, because that's how mobbed this bar was, with everyone and their mother there were a few mothers there anxious to see all the teeny peen. The madness kicked off around 2 p. The bar was bedecked with penis-related balloons, streamers and decor. Bartenders were serving up a special "Penis Colada" drink: a creamy, white concoction that by no coincidence looked like semen, and came with a penis-shaped straw to boot. Uproarious drag queen Chicken Bitches, donning a fur coat and ferocious blonde wig, was back to reprise her role as Master of Ceremonies, introducing the contestants. A block long line for smallest penis contest. Now for the micro penises. There were five contestants this year: the Puzzle Master, Rufio, Rajkumar, Twig 'n Berries and Spiderman mask-wearing Peter Parker, who was a contestant last year, albeit under a different name. Rip Van Dinkle, who was a star sensation at last year's competition, was unable to make it this year thanks to travel woes, according to his Facebook.
Over tiny penis lovers packed into King's County Bar in Bushwick yesterday afternoon for the third annual Smallest Penis In Brooklyn pageant, a celebration of, well, the title says it all. There were considerably more women than men in the crowd for the three hour event, with many small groups of women batched together photographer Melanie Rieders described it as "a bachelorette girls day vibe". MC Chicken Bitches welcomed people by reminding them that this event was a celebration of all sizes but mostly teeny tiny sizes : "If you came here to make fun, you better get the fuck out," she said, adding that the bar hosts the event to "celebrate what you've got," even if what you've got could generously be described as "flyspeck. There's a line around the block to get in and shits about to get REAL pic. Thankfully, the crowd was there to appreciate, not mock, the contestants that included the band Afterbirth Monkey, a music-comedy duo who performed a song about tiny dicks, and also flashed the crowd for good measure. This year there were five brave men who stepped up to the plate: an older gentleman named "Rip Van Dinkle" who perviously competed in the event two years ago , "Chino Loco," "The Gentleman," "Cromwell," and the winner, "Puzzlemaster. Puzzlemaster competed in last year's competition though he lost , memorably reenacting Buffalo Bill's "Would You Fuck Me? I'd Fuck Me" scene from Silence of the Lambs before dropping trou and treating the crowd to a view of his tucked-away junk.